On my way
I am on the way. I don't stop, I keep going. I just keep walking. I am far from having arrived yet and that feels good. It's quite nice to be in motion, to be on the way, on my way to peace with my childlessness, on my way to becoming whole, on the way to myself. I am on the way, I am growing, changing, I do not stand still. I don't stop, I keep going. I just keep walking. I was going for a walk in the forest with a friend yesterday and she was talking about her life with two children, a husband, herself. How little time she has, what constricts her, why she doesn't see herself at the moment. She lacks space and the freedom just to be. I told her about my dilemma, that at the moment I would like more "constraints" and demands from the outside. I have so much time and new spaces I don't really know how I like to fill those spaces yet. I told her that I am no longer the woman who desperately wants to be a mom, but I have not fully arriv