A new beginning
Here I am, a woman, in my best age, married, no kids. When we got married, my husband and I talked about the possibility of not being able to become a parent. What a weird and hypothetical thought. B ut I wanted to be clear that we both choose the one person in the world, we wanted to spend the rest our lives with and not only the one who would just fit for becoming the father/mother of our children. I knew that in the age of 36 years, it might mean, that I could be too old to become a mother, but I never had the slightest idea that this could in fact happen. Now 5 years later after losing two pregnancies, numerous cycles of trying and 10 ICSIs later, I know I have to let go. I cannot force anything to happen, I cannot ignore the fact that we tried everything we could, but that we will undoubtedly never be parents, no matter how hard we wish for it. Just by deeply wanting and hoping for something, it does not mean that it will ever come true. When I try to detach myself to