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I trust conventional medicine. I believe in numbers, data, studies, and evidence-based medicine. However, even though there is no evidence at all, I did acupuncture during our last tries. It probably had something to do with searching for anything that might work, taking control again. I knew it wouldn't hurt, and who knows, maybe there were things in Chinese medicine I didn’t know yet. I wanted to believe in something.   I searched for a Chinese doctor and found... let’s say Dr. Lee. Dr. Lee has spent twelve years studying Chinese medicine and has his own practice now. I really had to work on myself a bit to trust him when he looked at my palms and suggested I should do acupuncture and maybe try one or two Chinese herb teas to get my cycle back on track. I gratefully declined the tea, but I agreed to the acupuncture.   Two to three times a week I laid down on a couch, several small needles were placed in different places of my body, depending on the stimulation date or my cycle

  During the last months I was so angry and hurt that even in the 21 st century, when I reflect the last years, I had situations where I had to decide between potential motherhood and having a successful professional life. I was angry that my sex, my biological clock, and my marriage status should determine my career options, and I refused to be limited to a woman who will be a mother soon. I went on with my career, took chances and yes, I wiped aside my wish to have children for quite some time because I wanted to become successful in my career. In my field it takes at least six years of studying and then six to eight years of training which means that in the thirties it decides whether we are achieving in a leading position or not. As a woman that interferes with the time when trying to become a family is really pressing.   At that time, I denied my deep wish to become a mother every time I was asked. I built up the image of a women that chooses career over family even though we