A sucess story

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“Do you have children? No? Me neither. I used to look in every baby carriage, it was like a compulsion, but that passed and you know, I had a wonderful time with my husband. We could travel while others were tied up with their kids, and we could spend much time together. That was a great time back then." She looked up into the air and added: "When I think about it, I don't really miss anything."

"She" is a 93-year-old lady. Very sprightly, unfortunately no longer as mobile as she would like to be, but still very agile in her head. She asked me this question when we first met. My answer back then was a plain “no.”

How calmly she asked me this question back then. How calm her own comment on it was. And how liberating it felt for me, how good, how accepted, understood and yes - how calm I felt.

When I started this blog, I was looking for the "good ending". I could hardly believe or imagine that the day would come when I would no longer miss family life. I was desperately looking for "success" stories - stories that proved that a child-free life could be a good one and that it would feel like one at some point.

And there it was - the story. Reported unsolicited by a 93-year-old woman. She is one of "us".

Time puts many things in a different light when it passes. Perspectives change – and hormone levels too. I realize that my perspective is also changing, slowly, almost imperceptibly, I arrive at my life.

Comments

  1. Goldenes HerzApril 3, 2024 at 3:40 PM

    What a beautiful story and woman! <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. JessApril 3, 2024 at 5:03 PM

    Oh, how wonderful that there was this peek into the future. What a great response this woman had, and I'm glad it was a success story like the ones you were looking for earlier. It is lovely to have those moments where you realize that perspective is shifting. I love your last sentence, especially, "I arrive at my life." Sending love!

    ReplyDelete
  3. MaliApril 5, 2024 at 8:50 AM

    Oh, I LOVE this! Yes, that's how I feel most of the time now. Calm, accepting of the wonderful things in my life as a result, a good ending. (Though I hope it doesn't end for a few decades yet!) I've often written that I feel WE (those who have embraced our No Kidding lives) are the true infertility success stories. I'm so glad you feel this too! Sending much love from us both.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnnaApril 28, 2024 at 6:58 AM

    I am very happy for you that you feel this way and that you had this good experience with that older woman. Thank you for sharing it. I also have those moments of clarity and acceptance of the situation and the life I am in. And I am grateful for those moments. Of course this is not a "happy ending" as such as I am still very much affected by being involuntarily childless. But it is as it is and I will live my life nonetheless. I also love your last sentence "I arrive at my life". Sending lots of love.

    ReplyDelete

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