There are topics I wanted to write about in this blog, but right now it seems so inappropriate to talk about me, my lost future as a mother, and my problems with my childless life while a terrible, cruel war is raging in Europe. I don't even know how to put my thoughts into the right words.

Yes, war in Europe. I never thought that something like this could happen again after World War II.

I think of the thousands of people forced to leave behind literally everything they have. They have to leave their old lives behind with only a suitcase and in some cases not even that. My problems seem to disappear when I think of the lost hopes and lost futures that many, many, many people in Ukraine and also in Russia are suffering right now.

All because of this terrible, mad tyrant who, together with his generals and aides, prepared this insane war for years and has now started it. 

The world will never be the same again, and I am speechless and numb when I think about it.

I am also impressed by the bravery of the Ukrainian people who are defending their country and their democracy, and I am impressed by the many Russians who demonstrate against this terrible war, even though they will most likely be arrested for doing so. I don't know if I would be so brave.

It gives me hope that Europe and its partners is standing together. I am so glad that humanity and democracy, freedom of speech and all these values still count in the western world, and I really hope that they will count all my life.

I know that there are still moments when the world and its problems are not important to me. Yes, there are moments when I feel lonely and sad, when I try to cope with my lost future. I allow that to happen and then try to let it go. There are more important things in life right now than the fact that I am childless.


  1. It's awful, isn't it? I don't know what it must feel like, to know that there is war on your own continent, and not that far away really. It's been a good time to remind myself how lucky I have it. And yes, we are all human, compassionate humans, and our childless seems so unimportant compared to everything that unites us. Sending hugs.

    1. Dear Mali,
      yes, it is awful. It is a war against the Ukrainian people but also against democracy and freedom, that frightens me. And I really hope it doesn't get any worse than it already is. And I really hope for all of us that it will end soon!
      Huge hug to you, too!

  2. Dear Lilly,
    your thoughts about Ukraine are exactly the same as mine.
    I also deeply admire the courage of the Ukrainian people.
    Yes, there are more important things in life right now than the fact that we are childless.

  3. Beautifully written. It is horrific to see what is happening and how brutal that mad tyrant is, but I cannot imagine what it is like to have the war so close on your continent. And I also admire the bravery of the Ukrainian people where Russian protesters-- I don't think such a resistance was expected! So, so much loss. It feels like the news is more horrific every day.

    1. Dear Jess,
      Yes, that's what I think, too. It is getting worse every day and I cannot really picture a way out right now. But there are so many things that unite us, as Mali wrote and that feels good.
      Sending hugs to the other side of the world!

  4. Dear Lilly,
    thank you for writing this! I agree with you, there are times when our childlessness seems so insignifcant.
    And yet, I have a friend who says that when she feels helpless in terrible situations, the least she can do is feel good about herself. She doesn't mean it in a selfish way, rather she thinks that if she doesn't feel well herself, she won't be able to help others who are in need.
    The war puts our problems into perspective, but does not make them disappear. So, I still think your writing here can be helpful to others.
    Sending hugs!


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